Boardroom Comics Fan Gifts

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

Acme Toys Ltd

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

Around here it got a little tricky...

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

Holding the bag, inc, your corporate scapegoat.

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"All power to the board of directors!"

Company take-over bid

Executive MFA

'Well, it looks like the 'yea' has it.'

"We're doing better. This is the first time in more than a year there hasn't been enough blame to go around."

Can you do it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom?

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager. . ."

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

"See what a few beers mingled with some great ideas will do for the boss?"

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."