Boardroom Comics Fan Gifts

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

Acme Toys Ltd

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

"Here's a manual of our rules and a CD that covers our unwritten rules.

Around here it got a little tricky...

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

"Can't complain- it's against company policy."

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'Does anyone have a question?'

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

Holding the bag, inc, your corporate scapegoat.

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"All power to the board of directors!"

Company take-over bid

"Being a CEO is a bit like being a football manager. . ."

'Well, it looks like the 'yea' has it.'

Can you do it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom?

"We're doing better. This is the first time in more than a year there hasn't been enough blame to go around."

Executive MFA

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

'This is Phillips. He's our new idea man.'

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."