Boardroom Aficionado Gifts

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

Two businessmen in dispute

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'How about a game of cards?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

Let the Summer Games Begin!

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

Existential Risk

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."