Boardroom Aficionado Pillows

Office Furniture - Would you like to thump the table sir, to hear what it sounds like?

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'How about a game of cards?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

Around here it got a little tricky...

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Interesting. At first, I didn't pick her as dominant.' - Child chairs meeting at Toys Inc.

Let the Summer Games Begin!

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

Existential Risk

Thank You, Goals Achieved... and then some!

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

Irritable Vowel Syndrome

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.