Boardroom Comic Gifts

'There's a simple explanation for this, but our friends in Legal can make it incomprehensibly complicated.'

"Sorry I'm late, I was itchy."

"See what a few beers mingled with some great ideas will do for the boss?"

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Acme Toys Ltd

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."