Boardroom Band Gifts

'They're part of our corporate culture.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

"Damn it, Hopkins, didn't you get yesterday's memo?"

Business of Finger-pointing

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"I need to take a call. Argue amongst yourselves."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"I'd rather be at the office."

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

'I realize I'm making a huge salary... but I gotta be me.'

Executive MFA

Can you do it so my eyes follow everyone around the boardroom?

'Mergers and takeovers and profits, oh my! Mergers and takeovers and profits, oh my! Mergers and. . . '

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

'I've chosen you for fresh, new ideas.'