Boardroom Hen Gifts

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

Acme Toys Ltd

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'Does anyone have a question?'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

"I'd rather be at the office."

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

Executive MFA

'I've read my appraisal and this is my solicitor - I intend to sue you!'

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

'Well, Jim, it appears you just put your finger on my one point of terrible vulnerability!'

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

'Good news: First-quarter profits should be strong and second-quarter prison sentences should be light.'

'I knew we should have put the CEO's increased bonus item further down the agenda.'

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

"Richard just came in - he must have had a board meeting."

We've resolved the fundamental problems. Now we're down to personal issues.