Boardroom Chic Gifts

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take the red whiteboard marker. Give in to your anger.'

'Does anyone have a question?'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'It's good, but it's not good-to-go.'

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

Butterfly Sales

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

Judge getting hair done.

The company lawyer's self-image vs the boss's self-image.

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"Are we afraid of a little competition? Based on the figures, absolutely."

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

If John Lennon had gone into strategic management.