Boardroom Boater Gifts

"I'd rather be at the office."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

'Dog eat dog.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

Acme Toys Ltd

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

Around here it got a little tricky...

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Executive puts on brave face for board meeting.

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.