Corporate Bard Gifts

Why there aren't so many poem writing business men...

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

"I made money the old fashioned way. I inherited it."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

Body Language Expert - 'You don't like your job do you?'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

'Hello. Law offices of Anderson, Avery, Baer, Barton, Baston, Caggly, Cooper ... drat, who comes after Cooper?'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

'I've proved to the company I can make the tough rationalizations.'

Executive MFA

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"We're doing better. This is the first time in more than a year there hasn't been enough blame to go around."

"I'll take care of it impersonally."

"I'll have the chicken or the eggs benedict—whichever of them comes first."

'To blog or not to blog, that is the question...' Shakespeare in the 21st Century

"By the way, while you were off sick we located the bottle neck."