Canine Bard T-Shirts

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

The Proust of Twitter

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Cow writer.

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

Shakespeare in the clink

The Music of Life (in the key of dna).

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"Renovating your bathroom?"

John takes a personivacation.

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

"Langsford, will you please stop interjecting quotes from Kahlil Gibran?"

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

Grange Hildegard.

Pirate

Romance novel writers make the best waiters. 'Tonight's special is chicken: ample,milky white breasts, touched with a slight hesitation of strong,rigid basil, too headstrong to stay and too scared to stop.'

The British Hamlet ('Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ...I say 'knew', more of an acquaintance really ...')

"The menu simply says 'Fried Fish.' I'm waiting for you to provide the lyrical description."

If cows would write fairy tales...

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"Let me do all the singing."