Canine Aficionado Gifts

"He's a true friend and companion and, should it ever come to it, meat."

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

'Pastry sniffing canine corporation' entering a 'Diet clinic dormitory'.

'If we're man's best friend, why don't we have indoor bathroom facilities like the cat?'

'We'll take it!'

A dog with a big heart.

'When do we learn to bark for no good reason?'

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

Dog squared equals...

Would you like to explain what this sheepskin is doing in your car?

"Superdog, eh? Faster than a speeding car? Movie roles are replaced by animation. How about a job in surveillance and security?"

"I know 'c'mon' and 'sit down', but what on earth does my master mean when he says 'Arrgh! You stupid dog!'?"

'I'm putting Babs on a diet. She's more paunch than pooch.'

'Bad Dogs And The Bitches Who Love Them'.

'Our neighbours say Egbert here is Ben's son, and it's okay if he visits us for awhile. They've retired to the Bahamas.'

Literary Canines.

'When you said you were a dog person, I naturally assumed you just liked dogs.'

'I forgot to tell you... he's part Spitz.'

'They sure have small litters.'

"Our dog's shedding is worse than we thought. Someone called here and they still got hair on them."

"We like it, but we suggest you change the title to 'The Canine Mutiny'."

"I'd invite you in, but my father has the invisible fencing turned on."

"I wish I could get him to relax."

Good Dog

"You're a good sort, Ellen, but I do miss old Rover."

Walking the Dog

"Pick me!"

Beware of Dogs

"Okay, that's enough Physics for one day. Take a break and chase your tails."

Dogs allowed. Actually, we prefer people stay out and only the dogs come in.

My Day - Dog magazine

"Wow. . . what's that?!"

'It's fake, but I've read you get more dates if girls think you're fixed.'

Bringing the Paper

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."