Canal Boating Gifts

Rural Thug

'Reg, check on Mother please. She's gone very quiet in the toilet...'

'A black eye? Let me tell you about the time I was hit by a flying windlass...'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Faster, Georges, faster!

Captain in a storm

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Cat fishing whilst fish fly overhead.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

"My family has been fishing these waters for nearly 40 years. . ."

Build a Raft

'Are we there yet?'

"Mind the whale, dear."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

A vampire in a canoe.

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

Fish hunting for men.

Boat wedding.

Fishing with God

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

'So who needs sonar?!'

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'