Canal Cruising Gifts

Well that explains the steering problems I've been experiencing for the past two miles...

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Mr. Punch in Venice

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'See you in two weeks!'

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

Toy Boats And A Toy Ocean Liner

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

Lifesaver!

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"I thought the travel agent said 40% off."

"Ticket and passport, please."

The Desert Island Package

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Ever Given

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized we need a vacation.'