Cruising Gifts

Santa Cruise

"A 40 day cruise? Just the two of us without the kids? Oh, Harold, This'll be the best vacation ever! I hope it doesn't rain!"

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

"Let's not ruin this moment by enjoying it."

'The tip of the iceberg.'

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed that you aren't constantly eating."

Kid to kid about boat: 'Must be one of those charter schools I keep hearing about.'

A cruise ship parks as part of birthday cake.

First class only raft.

"Don't panic - just a temporary crash floe problem."

"We're interested in ocean cruises. The Atlantic for me and the Pacific for him."

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

Captain leaves sinking ship.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'I wanted an exotic cruise, George wanted the usual caravanning holiday, so we compromised.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

'The nerve! We're only three hours late!'

"He's full of duty free liquor - should I declare him?"

'For heaven's sake; Mrs Van Rensselaer, let go!'

"Mmm, my favourite! Eggs over easy, lightly poached salmon with a wild mushroom sauce."

"You call this a knot?"

Boat to the Horizon.

'Feeling a little sick, dear?'

"So did you folks have a nice vacation?"

"That Romantic Cruise sounds good, but what do you suggest for my husband's vacation?"

"That should attract every over 60s cruise ship, in the area."

"I warned you not to argue with the captain."

'Your first cruise then, mate?'

Viking River Raids

'Ten minutes after leaving Southampton, the Queen Mary 2 arrives in Fort Lauderdale.'

'Do ships 'like this' sink very often? No madam, only once!'

'Going anywhere nice?'

Romantic Cruises....except for cases of seasickness.

'I was thinking of booking a Florida cruise...'