Campus Quirk Lovers Gifts

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Taser incident.

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

The Pi Advantage

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

When the student is ready (or not), the college bills will appear.

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

Clown college

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block...'

"Ain't it great to be back on campus again?"

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

'Centre for the study of obscure and useless things.'