Campus Quirk Lovers T-Shirts

Tuition fees.

'Hmph. College kids.'

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'I missed my roommate so I went out and got this spray called, 'Never Showers,' and now it's like she never left.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Taser incident.

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

Trouble at med school - "Gosh, it's already my third day and I'm still sober."

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

The Pi Advantage

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

The assistant to the chair begins another busy day.

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

Clown college

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

When the student is ready (or not), the college bills will appear.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block...'

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'

"Ain't it great to be back on campus again?"

'Centre for the study of obscure and useless things.'