Campus Conversationalist Gifts

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

"I'm just so impressed with what you're saying about the victimization of men."

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

Computer Dating

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

"Behold, as I guide our conversation to my narrow area of expertise."

"Of course I'm naturally apologetic. I was conceived during make-up sex."

Books 'n' Coffee

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'

Angler management

“I think you’ve had enough.”

Student's t-shirts read: 'No means no.' 'No means to deny, refuse or disagree.'

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

"Mother, I'm so sorry — I totally forgot to bring you."

"I feel I have perspective but mostly because I'm tall."

'Which choo-choo train is appropriate?'

Mistress and servant

"This piece really makes you think doesn't it?"

"My talking to myself used to annoy people, so now I text myself."

'Gossip 50p per minute.'

"Hey, what ya doing, Cruz?"

'Rocket scientist, in like, I ain't no.'