Computing Conversationalist Gifts

Computer Dating

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Woman on the phone.

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

Modern Narcissism

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

Communication

CartoonStock Upload

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

A lesson in wit

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

Cyber Fight