Campfire King Gifts

The Brothers Grime

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Desert Island BBQ

Harsh Mellows.

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

'The Torch Holder'.

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

Roasting the Moneybox

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Nobody likes a smore loser

Creepy Camp Stories.

'Is the fire included?'

Marshmallow Roast

"Okay, boys...time for bed!"

My Musical Influences

"First camping trip, Billy?"

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"Sssh! - Did you hear a noise??"