Campfire Kings Gifts

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

The Brothers Grime

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

"Well, they look friendly enough."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

My Musical Influences

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

Rustic Campgrounds.

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

Accountants around the campfire.

Pop-up camper set-up problems.

"When we left off last night, we were on page 15 of the National Intelligence Estimate. "

Young Robin Hood at Scout Camp

"Yep, I agree: It's pure torture when he plays his harmonica around the campfire..."

"We've decided to try role-swapping."

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

"There's only two things that really fascinate men. One is fire and the other one isn't."

Bear: 'Oh YUM, Burritos!'

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

"You know what this means, don't ya? Popcorn!"

'You'll have to get off that now. I need to make an important call.'

"And then, as I turned, there he was again - the creepy guy with the camera!"