Campfire King T-Shirts

The Brothers Grime

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Desert Island BBQ

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Harsh Mellows.

'The Torch Holder'.

Roasting the Moneybox

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

"Oh Wow! Shooting star!"

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

Nobody likes a smore loser

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

Creepy Camp Stories.

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

'Is the fire included?'

"Okay, boys...time for bed!"

My Musical Influences

"First camping trip, Billy?"

Marshmallow Roast

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

'Aaaah... nuthin' like sitting out here in nature with a good campfire and a couple of ice-cold Bloodweisers.'