Campfire Guru T-Shirts

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Support Group for a Good Problem

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

A vampire in a canoe.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"... and the sales call was coming from inside the house!"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Holiday Supplies

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

Camping.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'One of the first rules, kids, be sure to watch where you step.'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

Roasting the Moneybox

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

'The Torch Holder'.

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

Pan Extension Chord

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"I said, 'Fetch Chardonnay,' not 'Riesling.'"

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."