Campfire Culinary Artists Gifts

'Darling, does your Swiss army knife have a garlic press?'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Sausages.

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Holiday Supplies

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

A marshmallow? Oh, no, thank you, I'm good.

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

Pan Extension Chord

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"I said, 'Fetch Chardonnay,' not 'Riesling.'"

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

Cannibal recipes.

Pizza Rescue.

Have food. Need toilet paper

'Here go, Thegla... It recipe you ask for.'

"Appetizer is almost done."

"The stranger came bearing gifts of graham crackers and chocolate. No one suspected the murder weapon he hid behind his back until..."

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Listen, I'll put chocolate chips in your flapjacks, too, but I ain't makin' smiley faces with 'em.

Emergency box in woods contains supplies for a campfire.

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

My Musical Influences

Spiro & Pusho cook a chicken on a volcano

"I'm calling it Cajun Blackened Chicken!"

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."