Campaign Creator Gifts

'Do you know the definition of marketing.'-'Ready, fire, aim.'

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

'It's new and improved because we now have better advertising.'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

The Map of the human brain

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

Save the unicorn.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Elections

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

The following is a paid political announcement.

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

Palin 2012

America's funniest election gaffes

2020 Republican Party National Convention

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'