Ad Campaign Creator Gifts

"We're going to spend £5M to put over the message that our product is so good it sells itself!"

The following is a paid political announcement.

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

Advertising Agency - "...Fooling some of the people all of the time is damn hard work."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

"At this point, the product smiles and says, 'Good day, Mr. Froggie'."

A businessman watches as a girl walks past carrying a balloon with his face on it.

"The guts of the plan, JB, is that we make you into something of a sex object"

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

Advertising campaign before product development

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

"The hybrid engine says you care. The gross tonnage says get the hell out of my way."

Where Are They Now?

"Our old advertising is passé, Filby. We need a new wrinkle."

"Still no customers. We'll have to invent rebates!"

'You can either lose 100 pounds or rent out your stomach for advertising space'

'There's no stopping them.'

Advertising Agent to cowboy: 'So you're a branding expert?'

Bikini Tax Prep.

"Radio, air, radials, low miles, dependable, safe."

'Eat at my place, I'm very lonely'

Cowboy 'Clients' and Indian 'Ad agencies' looking for dollars,