Ad Campaign Guru Gifts

"Our old advertising is passé, Filby. We need a new wrinkle."

"Good boy."

'How fast can you hype?'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Target your customer.

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Bob thinks his new neighbor may be bad for business.

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

The following is a paid political announcement.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Your ad here!

Advertising on the internet.

A close shave on the Titanic...

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

As Seen Watching TV

"With great power comes great reward."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"Okay, let me come at this question a different way: Does anybody here actually know how to sell anything?"

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''

'We're really just a mom and pop store...if mom and pop had 600,000 employees.'

"I think you'd make a persuasive salesman."

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."