Advert Guru Gifts

Watch this space.

'How fast can you hype?'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

Direct Marketing...

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Your ad here!

Gerald Ratner's return

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

Roads with a view.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Home Business - Newspaper Ad.

As Seen Watching TV

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Mouse real estate!

Media Darling.

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"You can whip out one helluva sonnet, Shakespeare, bit for sales copy, this sucks."

'Something that'll get me googled,'

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

This Space Available.

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

Your Ad Here.

"We only invest in companies that still exist a year after running a Super Bowl ad."

Alphabet Soup: Now in a bold new font.

Junk Mail

Eat More Salted Nuts

Creative Director skipping through an advertising portfolio.

"Play it like, sure, the world sees you as just a hamburger, but you know there's so much more to you than that."