Campaign Planner Gifts

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'Let's start raising campaign money.'

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'If only every year was an election year.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Save the unicorn.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Palin 2012

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

Jerry Brown.

Distraction.

Think tanks.

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Freedom of Speech

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

Dark money donor

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

"With great power comes great reward."

Anonymous Donations