Election Campaigner Gifts

Jerry Brown.

'Any Questions?. . . Anyone else?'

'I don't see my candidate. I call him ‘Lesser of Two Evils.' '

Labour Smears

Election Race.

"I'm thinking of running for class president. Do you think I could get the Russians to help?"

"And on a score between 1 and 10 how much would you like me to shove this polling questionnaire up my arse?"

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

Palin 2012

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

Distraction.

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Dark money donor

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

Anonymous Donations

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."