Election Campaign Warrior Gifts

Our system works!

"Good boy."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Palin 2012

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

Jerry Brown.

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

"With great power comes great reward."

Hillary Clinton and American politics.

Save the termites.

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

The Election Strategy

Fahrenheit 911.

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

Approved Debate Questions

"The poll results are in. Our lies are resonating with the public way more than our opponent's lies."

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

News and Magazines. Campaign Fundraising Heats Up. It says this election cycle is expected to break all records in the amount of money spent on free speech.

Cherchez la femme

Run-off

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'