Election Campaign Warrior Gifts

Our system works!

"Good boy."

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

Palin 2012

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

Jerry Brown.

"Sure, he has artificial intelligence, but it's his artificial empathy that won me over."

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Hillary Clinton and American politics.

"With great power comes great reward."

Save the termites.

The Election Strategy

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

'If the following program sounds silly, it's because it's a a paid political announcement....'

Trump promises versus reality.

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

"If talk is cheap, why do candidates need super PACs to finance elections?"

Run-off

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.

'I like the jib of their cuts.'