Election Season Warrior Gifts

'I've been voting Republican all my life, but this Election Day, I'm just going to go out and get drunk instead.'

They're Not Just That Into It

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Political convention

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The Russian Election.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"I think it was an election year."

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

Trump Will Protect Obama's Legacy

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

Netanyahu versus Gantz

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

The following is a paid political announcement.

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

2016 election squabbles!

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

2020 Republican Party National Convention

America's funniest election gaffes

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'