Election Season Warrior Gifts

'I've been voting Republican all my life, but this Election Day, I'm just going to go out and get drunk instead.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Political convention

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

The Russian Election.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"I think it was an election year."

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Why should I take you home instead of your friend? (Republican and Democrat).

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

Netanyahu versus Gantz

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

'That's correct Shaun. The government is comprised of 5 branches...the executive, legislative, judicial, lobbyist and media.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

The following is a paid political announcement.

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Joe Biden

America's funniest election gaffes

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

2020 Republican Party National Convention

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

2016 election squabbles!

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'