Campaign Gifts

'We need to start dividing the housework for more peaceful marriages?' - What they'd say if they really wanted the women's vote.

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Political convention

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

The Russian Election.

Save the unicorn.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

Palin 2012

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

George Papandreou.

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Thinker

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."

2020 Republican Party National Convention

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

Jerry Brown.