Campaign Organizer Gifts

'I'll also need your home address, phone number and social security number.'

"Good boy."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I didn't spark joy."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Pearly King and Queen

Elections

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Collective Psyche

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Before the riots/after the riots

The following is a paid political announcement.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

social services cuts

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Election 2020