Campaign Organizer T-Shirts

'I'll also need your home address, phone number and social security number.'

"Good boy."

"I didn't spark joy."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"By labeling it, I control it."

An informed voter is a good voter

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Elections

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Pearly King and Queen

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Collective Psyche

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

Sloth 10K.

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

Before the riots/after the riots

The following is a paid political announcement.

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

social services cuts

Election 2020

Human Rights for All