Campaign Development Gifts

"Good boy."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

An informed voter is a good voter

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Elections

Save the unicorn.

The Russian Election.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

The following is a paid political announcement.

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

America's funniest election gaffes

"I want something in which to vote for Mrs. Luce."

Election 2020

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'