Calorie Counting Champion Gifts

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

7 brownies worth of exercise.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Dieting Motivation.

'Diet considerations.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.