Calorie Counting Champion T-Shirts

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

All Natural Nothing

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Secretive Weigh In.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Diet considerations.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'