Calorie Hunter T-Shirts

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Gruber, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

'Uh-oh.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Sealed for your diets protection."

Halloween. Trick or Treat trophy.

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do count against your diet.

'Surely there's some other good source of protein out there!'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

'I've done it! I've found the most basic particle!'

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

"The figure to the right is the number of crunches you'll need to do to work off the gut that meal will give you."

"Our computers are down, so I can't look it up. If I had to guess, I would say, yes, that is fattening."

"...And a 'Death by Chocolate' for Madame..."

"Just bring me something that'll put hairs on my chest."

Advent fridge

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

"Do you have such a thing as low calorie caramel coffee creams?"

'I'm putting you on the 'Don't eat so damn much' diet.'

"We are starting our diet tomorrow, so we need to eat this lot today."

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

"You have to try this crazy diet. Just hunting down the exotic ingredients gives you loads of exercise!"

'No, Madam. I'm afraid we have nothing 'exquisitely delicious' under 350 calories.'

'This new ‘Exotic Foods' diet really works. I've lost 5 pounds running around looking for the ingredients!'

"I ate all the wrong things today."

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

"Heck, 'an orange', the only thing I haven't got."