Calorie Watcher T-Shirts

In the calorie family: 'You're home early?'....'Mrs. Harrison has started dieting again!'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

All Natural Nothing

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"