Calorie Tracker T-Shirts

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"It's party glandular and partly 8,500 calories a day."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Diet considerations.'

Dieting Motivation.

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'