Metabolism Tracker T-Shirts

"That's the fifth time this year your metabolism has changed."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

All Natural Nothing

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Either play faster or get out the band.'

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

'Weird ... the footprints just seem to end right here.'

"I've been working on the household budget."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole my steps!"

'Put it under my microscope!'

Woman and scales.

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

'Dinosaur footprints!'

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

"I got one of those new crystal ball fitness trackers-- it tells me all my future steps."

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

Body weight app on mobile

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'Took me all night to write that message.'

'To tell you the truth I don't what it is.'

"Thank goodness I was getting my share prices confused with my resting heart rate."

Abrupt end to Red Feather's scouting career.

Scales: 'Every day she breaks my back! What's in it for me?'

"Decaf. They can't be far away."

"I WAS feeling fine but then the health app on my watch said I might be DEAD."