Calorie Counting Gifts

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

Only 75 calories per serving. 652 servings per package.

Drive In - "That's $7.99, 2400 calories and 125 grams of fat."

"And, on the lowest end of the caloric spectrum, we offer a leather chew toy."

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

Personal Calorie Counter

Satan Fast Food

"Our computers are down, so I can't look it up. If I had to guess, I would say, yes, that is fattening."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"The figure to the right is the number of crunches you'll need to do to work off the gut that meal will give you."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

The Diet Fairy is here to grant you three dishes. . . as long as they're under 350 calories each.

"I'll have a triple cheeseburger with added cheese and double fries. And a diet Coke, I'm watching my weight."

"Just a heads-up... when you count calories, high score doesn't win."ories/high score

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

'I knew there was a catch. Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight servings.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

I decided to put the scale someplace where it would do some good!

'Lose weight now...ask me how!'

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

'I knew there was a catch! Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight serviings.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Every time I go on a diet, some kind of physiological disturbance kicks in that sends me off on a feeding frenzy.'

'No. I don't know how many calories it has.'

'It'll never work. Your metabolism rate is higher than mine.'

'I'm trying to count calories, but I'm having trouble finding them. Do you know what they look like?'

"My scale certainly has no problem finding those hidden calories."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Lots of people are lousy at counting calories... and they have the figures to prove it!

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Eating celery burns more calories than not eating it. Throwing the horrible stuff away burns even more.'