Cage Comedian Gifts

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

Cat Reunion

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

"I hate it..."

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

A gift to complete the man cave.

"That explains all the cavities."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Early House Hunting.

"The human is back - act normal."

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"Did you just tweet?"

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

"Okay, okay - next time I'll spring the trap and you grab the cheese."

"I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

"Can I barrow your pen?"

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

'I've invented copyright.'

"Sometimes I get a craving for sushi."

Extra Absorbent Kitty Litter.

'...How can a cat get diabetes?'