Cage Comedians Gifts

'I read my newspaper online.'

'Want to really freak her out? Start coughing!'

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

A gift to complete the man cave.

"That explains all the cavities."

'What's on the other side?...'

'I don't mind you singing, but I draw the line at your banjo playing.'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

Early House Hunting.

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

'It replaces all your small rocks with one convenient large one.'

'I've invented copyright.'

"That was a boring field trip."

"Boy, I have such a bad hangover! The guy I stung last night was drunk..."

'I like modern. It never goes out of style.'

Pop-up camper set-up problems.

Industrial Disputes: the Early Years

"Do you like this settee - oh, stop. How often do I ask you to go furniture shopping?"

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

'If civilization means I've got to see a divorce lawyer instead of eating my husband, I don't like it.'

'It's addicting... I watch it eight hours a day.'

'If you can overlook the newspaper on the floor, this isn't bad for a starter home.'

"I don't care what you say when she leaves the cage door open there's a helluva draught"

"I lined it up with our prenup."

'Where is this so called 'wild man' of yours, then?'

It's resolution time!

'Imprisoned for life? Are you sure?'

Beware of cool cat.

"You get old and somehow hunting and gathering turns into knick-knack collecting."

"The odd thing is that I'm not really a cat person."

'Come on out and bring your club -- they just took dinosaurs off the endangered species list!'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

Do I a-mews-you?