Caffeine-free Enthusiast Gifts

Caffeine-Free Kickstart Vending Machine

Decaffeinated section.

Eternal Student.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

You've Had Enough!

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

Allegro con molto espresso

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Writers without borders.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'What's holding him up?'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'You've had enough!'

National Coffee Day

"Call him Koffee- he keeps us awake!"

Coffee Menu

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"Gimme a triple shot. I can't face another hour of 'Fetch boy!' without some caffeinated fortitude."

"How about a little more coffee?"

'You've had enough.'

"Alan had to work all night on his presentation....this is what 17 espressos does to him."

9-5, 5-9