Caffeine-free Connoisseur Gifts

The Decafé

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Eternal Student.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Selling lemon latt�

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

'These are job perks.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"At this office no two days are different."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Allegro con molto espresso

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

You've Had Enough!

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Who gets the decaf?'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Espresso Martini Peacock

Writers without borders.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).