Cafeteria King Gifts

"I'll be there for you, Estella. I'll wait...as long as it takes. You can depend on me."

Counting ribs

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Do you have any catsup?'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

Non-Power Breakfast

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

National Coffee Day

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Coffee

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Tree Cafe; Free Valet Parking

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

Choice hellhole

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Come in, minion."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

"Why have you doubled the price of oatmeal?"

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

The Deli Llama

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

'Careful, this used to be hot.'