Cafeteria Enthusiast Gifts

Bad For You: A Restaurant

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

"At last...after so many missed days...so many cruel days apart...we are together once again!"

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'

"Look at that brand-new building! I hear it has a cafeteria, a lounge and valet parking! I have to go!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

Coffee

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"Here's your... neti pot... to share..."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

Bookuccino. A melding of book and drink.

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

A turning point in the fight against rampact secularisation: the cafe priant.

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'A cafe is just a failed restaurant really, isn't it?'

'MILK FIGHT!'

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

"No menus, you get what you deserve!"

'Hey, Daisy. What's the swill of the day?'