Cafeteria Culture Gifts

Man watches his hat and coat but fails to watch his lunch.

Hill-Billy Bag Lunches

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

Grandma's caf

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

Coffee

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

Coffee Menu

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

"We'll always hate Paris."

"Whole bean or ground relentlessly to dust?"

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

'Ridiculously Expensive Coffee.'

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

'A cafe is just a failed restaurant really, isn't it?'

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'