Cafeteria Dining Gifts

Vending machines: Caffeine, Sugar and Carbs.

'There's no mistake - the soup of the day is also Employee of the month!'

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

Cafe Burns.

"It's a pumpkin spice latte pie latte."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"My depression is currently being treated with a combination of prescription medication and low-fat frozen yogurt."

The vow of silence. Some days it was really hard to keep.

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

"Herbert, don't! This is a gourmet coffee shop! You order instant de-caf and there's going to be trouble!"

'Eating again. What's happened to your weight lifting?'

"Don't think you can just put the on the costume and replace Jeff."

Biocafeteraologist

Man from 'Environmental Health visits a caf� run by bugs

"They love me...they really, really love me!"

'First you feel shock, then anger, and finally remorse. It's the three stages of grief when buying the tuna sandwich.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"Yesterday's weenies have migrated in with today's nuggets."

'Too late. The spelling test was first period.'

'I burnt my hand in hot water.' - 'Why didn't you feel it before putting your hand in?'

"Five kids have signed my petition. We'd like to have vegetarian options on the cafeteria menu. To help, I've put together a few recipes of my own."

"Somebody found a finger in a salad?!"

'C'mon. Just a few counties can't hurt.'